Tracing Birth Parents – the final act
A few months ago, I wrote to my father, and didn’t receive a reply. I decided then , that maybe that was the natural end of my journey, and to leave it all alone. He had my contact details, if he wanted to get in touch in the future.
About a month after that, however, I was browsing through some records I’d collected, when I discovered that I’d missed something out, about his youngest daughters’ (my half sister obviously) wedding. I had her husbands’ surname, but hadn’t bothered to try and find his first name, so I searched the marriage records with his name first, and Rollinson as the partners’ surname. Easy to find.
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Waving goodbye, and looking ahead
What a year!
After all this time, carrying the monkey of being abandoned and adopted (oh woe is me 
) I find that the only person who ever really made such a big deal of it was me! Of course when you are young, everything is a big deal, so I’m trying not to be too harsh on myself, things happen that we have very little control about.
This site was setup on March/April and in eight months I’ve re-built the bridges with my mum and dad, my brothers, sister and their families. I’ve also finally found my mother, and two more sisters and a brother. We seem to be getting on very well, although it’s early days for all of us, so I’m learning to be a little more patient. At the end of January I will meet others of my mothers’ family, and I have been thinking about what to ask them, whether they remember anything of me, but you know what, I can’t be bothered to ask them. Who cares what happened to be perfectly honest. It’s the past, it’s gone and asking questions won’t change anything.
That’s on my mothers’ side of the family however. My father is a different matter. I believe he owes me something of an explanation, and at some point I will ask him face to face. Whether he replies or blanks me, will be his choice, but I’m not going to chicken out when I get to the final hurdle. It’s odd, but if he had replied to my letter saying, look shit happens deal with it, I could actually leave it alone. Not even replying with an email or text is just rude.
Of course it isn’t all sad news from my fathers’ side of the family, as I made contact with my Uncle Kevin, and have enjoyed chatting to him and Gillian. At some point I want to travel to Scotland to meet them, but finances will dictate when that happens.
As for the year ahead, who knows what’s coming, and how to deal with it?
I think it might be time to batten down the hatches, put your nose to the grindstone and numerous other platitudes 
But whoever you might be, wherever you may live, I hope the next year will not be as bad as the newspapers would have us all believe. But even if it is, I hope you and your family remain healthy.
Que Sera, Sera
I’ve never been the kind of person to leave things alone, so when I didn’t receive any reply from the letter to my father, the temptation was to get on a bus/train and go knock on his door. If I had a car I would have driven there, so it’s fortunate that I don’t!
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Trying to contact my father
Having taken on board everyone’s advice about leaving well enough alone, concerning my adoption and searching for my birth relatives, I decided that I owed the man the right to put his side of the story forward, if he wanted to.
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