Having found and contacted my mother, and consequently finding out about my siblings, I decided that a trip back to my old home town could be a good idea. Mainly this was to chat to my mum and dad, about the things that had happened in the past, hopefully putting it totally behind us all. Of course I hoped to also meet any members of my birth family that wanted to. Chatting on the phone to my mother went well, and we arranged to meet on Thursday 19th in the evening, near to where my mum and dad live, and where I grew up.
I got there very early, and took the opportunity to wander around the old home town, which kind of depressed me. Everywhere I went in Doncaster, there were To Let signs. Maybe it’s looking back with rose tinted spectacles but I recall Doncaster town centre being a thriving shopping area, and it seemed to be dirty and quite lack lustre now. The walk from the town centre to Balby where I grew up, didn’t seemed to have changed at all, althought the Vine Hotel had been flattened for some reason.
My sister was at my mums, with two of her children, and we got all the questions about my finding my birth mother out of the way. The kids were really shy, due to my not seeing them since they were born. I got quite a revelation then. I din’t even know their names properly, or their birthdays. There was I grumbling about nobody sending my daughter birthday cards, and I had done exactly the same to my nephews and nieces! Nothing straightens you up, like a long hard look in the mirror.
They soon got over their shyness, and being called Uncle Craig made me far happier than I ever thought it would. Chatting to my sister, mum and dad also cleared up a few silly issues that had been bugging me for years. Finally the chip on my shoulder looked to be gone!
On the way back into town, my mother phoned and we arranged to meet early, in Doncaster library. I got there early, and sat nursing a coffee, kind of excited, but also apprehensive. When she arrived, I was surprised just how relaxed and at ease I actually was with her. I’m not stupid enough to try and describe her 
so nice will have to do! We chatted for over an hour, and I learned a little about her, and quite a few things about when I was born etc, but can’t recall actually telling her that much about me. One thing she told me was about just after she had left my father, she was stopping at a friends, and because her friend didn’t have a cot, I was asleep in the bottom drawer of a chest of drawers . The social worker/welfare officer who visited seemed to take umbrage at that for some reason. It correlated with a comment my mum had made years before, when we were arguing, and I threw some comment at her about my real mum being better, she replied about me sleeping in a chest of drawers. Odd that something that seems quite sensible, can be twisted into something quite derogatory.
So that was the initial meeting out of the way. We’ve since chatted lots on the phone, and she’s very happy that I’ve finally contacted her, and I’m more content than I’ve ever been in my life I think. My sudden appearance has thrown a few things up in the air for her family, but hopefully things will settle back down for her.
My main fear in all this was that nobody would want to know me, or maybe I wouldn’t measure up (don’t ask me what to, it’s one of those silly fear) but that hasn’t happened as such.
A ‘new’ mother and ickle sister is more than I dared to hope for to be honest. 